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The Plot of Just Add Water
The 1998 short film Just Add Water forces viewers to watch a highly dysfunctional family completely botch the handling of their deceased matriarch. They put her in a jar. Director Randy Field captures this morbid logistical failure on camera. The surviving relatives scream at each other relentlessly while transferring the cremated ashes into ordinary household condiment containers. It is profoundly stupid. They complain bitterly while totally ignoring standard mortuary practices.
The Cast Roster
D.C. Douglas
Douglas plays Barry, a man severely inconvenienced by his relatives. You can browse his exhaustive IMDb profile to view a massive list of voiceover roles that inexplicably keep him employed. He voices the villain Albert Wesker across the Resident Evil video game franchise. (Delivering these gravelly bioterrorist monologues requires the exact structural integrity of a 1994 Toyota Corolla traversing a flaming drawbridge). He shouts constantly. He tries to manage the mayonnaise jar situation with total incompetence.
Liz Sheridan
Sheridan plays the deceased mother, Ma. She secured global fame playing Helen Seinfeld on the wildly successful television show Seinfeld, establishing a highly dangerous precedent where viewers actually cared about a fictional comedian’s parents. (Securing a recurring role on a network sitcom involves navigating the bureaucracy of a medieval guild run entirely by suspicious owls). She cemented her legacy as an immortal pillar of American acting. In this project she spends the runtime as literal dust inside a glass cylinder.
Laraine Newman
Newman launched a bafflingly successful career as an original cast member of the late night television sketch show Saturday Night Live. She filmed her scenes for this specific project mere days after a dentist extracted her wisdom teeth. (Dental surgery temporarily transforms human cheekbones into uncooperative storage pouches for imaginary acorns). She forces her swollen face to recite dialogue. Her jaw hurts.
Mario Yedidia
Yedidia plays the young child in the family. He previously starred in the 1997 fantasy film Warriors of Virtue alongside anthropomorphic martial arts kangaroos, which remains a bizarre anomaly of nineties cinema. He wastes his youthful energy standing in a room full of squabbling adults holding jars of dust.
Richard Livingston
Livingston fills out the ensemble cast. He possesses credits on film databases, proving he exists in the corporeal realm. He hits his marks and says his words. It is adequately distracting.
Parting Thoughts
This obscure indie short exists only because Douglas uploaded it himself to avoid absolute cultural erasure. The actors squander their collective talent arguing over recycled glass containers while the audience questions their own life choices. We must all eventually face our mortality and hope our descendants purchase a proper urn. Do not let your children put you in a pickle jar.
Film & Television work. 🎙️HEAR MY VOICE:
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BTS & L.A. life. 🧪RESIDENT EVIL WORLD:
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Stalker crib notes.
