The recent Epstein/Trump “no shit” controversy within MAGA made me remember this gem from 7 years ago… Funny how the Republicans have always been on a path to this level of justification.
This is one of my favorite political quickies I edited for my Tweaked Nipples page. Enjoy and share!
Act I: The Daring Allegations
Imagine a narrator with a stiff upper lip and absurd British pomp:
“And lo! In Alabama did Judge Roy Moore emerge—trenchant defender of the Ten Commandments, until several women arose to accuse him of pursuing teenage girls, one merely 14 years old, when he was in his thirties. Despite this, many in his party rallied behind him, as though moral outrage were merely a spot of tea to be forgotten.”
When allegations of sexual misconduct with minors surfaced during his 2017 Senate race, national Republican figures rushed to defend or downplay it—even while some withdrew support. Trump endorsed him anyway, allowing Moore’s campaign to limter on until a Democratic upset victory by Doug Jones. Moore never conceded, yet stayed active in the GOP sphere.
Act II: A Precedent Set in Stone
With perfectly Monty Python flair:
“Here we witness the Republican Party applying a liberal sprinkling of plausible denial and spirited defense of the indefensible, all to preserve political power.”
Roy Moore thus became a femme fatale for the GOP—an instructive precedent: when faced with accusations of pedophilia, party elites often choose retention and justification over accountability.
Act III: Enter Ghislaine Maxwell—The Royal Pardon Campaign
Now we leap forward to today, where certain GOP figures and media personalities are twisting the narrative to rebrand Ghislaine Maxwell—the convicted child sex‑trafficker—as some sort of victim deserving a pardon. President Trump insisted he’d “not considered” pardoning her, but acknowledged he could—a statement that many interpret as opportunistic ambiguity.
Congressman Thomas Massie even sarcastically suggested a pardon, mocking broader attempts to cast the Epstein scandal as a hoax. Others within GOP circles seem willing to generate doubt, shift blame, or delay transparency rather than demand justice.
Act IV: The Pattern—Power Over Principle
In summary, the Roy Moore episode revealed a template: when allegations involve sexual misconduct—especially with minors—the override strategy is to protect the brand, excuse the allegations, and preserve the vote.
Now with Maxwell, a similar playbook is at work: if you can portray the accused as someone who was miscast as criminal, you can align your base to ignore horrific facts. It’s not about justice—it’s about political preservation.
Thus the Republican trajectory is clear: Moore was the test‑case. Maxwell is appearing in the sequel—same script, different cast.
For more background, see this detailed overview on Roy Moore and the accusations from Time magazine.
Monty Python Commentary Finale
“And now for something completely political: if the GOP can defend a man accused of predation on teenagers, then rebrand a known trafficker as a stifled victim, what else might they excuse next—all for the sake of keeping the throne?”
